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Uncouth Barbarian's avatar

Wonderful poem, and I'll comment here as I'm unable to over at Tree of Woe (sorry, poor and can't water the Tree properly!).

I enjoyed it not even taking the time to apply the translations provided - the poem is well written enough to get the gist of it without it. I'm sure it's better if I was able to hold them in my head, but I'm not, and I didn't want to lose the flow of the meter by breaking it to translate. Hat off to being able to pull that off.

It speaks well that you're able to pull off and create characters that one can empathize with on both sides of the conflict. Not knowing the history, I couldn't speak on if the one invading is just or not - certainly the one defending his home is! But, we in the West, who like to paint with brushes of black and white, forget the moral grey areas - that not every soldier is culpable (morally) for even the wars within which they fight. They don't know the lies behind the propaganda or may be deceived. While I find our wars completely unjust in the Middle East, and they're coming back to haunt the US, I doubt that all of our soldiers have those sins weighing upon their souls, and were torn as they found themselves fighting people they had befriended at various times during deployments.

Finally - the commentary that proceeded the poem that I think applies to today. What does the Empire do to us? Does it make us enemies by fate as it seeks to divide and conquer us? I know I feel it does! Both in society at large, and even, at times, within my own community as we purge ourselves of the broader values. I have people I'm close to, that I would (at times) have gotten in fights with because they pursued the gains of the Empire over friendship and community. The demons tear at us, and we must drive them out with swords of flame should we home to win!

Well done.

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Jack Laurel's avatar

I skipped the preliminary word list, and almost skipped the poem itself because of it, but I'm glad I persisted. And I got all the pronunciations and meanings from the rhyme and context.

I'm not sure if the Contemplator will read this (it comes a bit late, and like others, I'm unable to comment at Tree of Woe), but I would like to suggest that he checks out the traditional alliterative meter. This was used by Tolkien and C.S. Lewis and works very well for narrative poetry. And at least one revivalist (Paul Deane at Forgotten Ground Regained) began using it precisely because he was involved in fictional worldbuilding.

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